no angst …

Angst … What a great word! One I adopted as I studied story-writing … it’s the thing that makes drama.

I’ve seen it defined as fear, feeling of anxiety, apprehension, insecurity, and even excruciating anguish, but, with a thread of hope that there is gonna be a way to overcome. No way does it pass the test of something I can entertain, as Jesus said … BE ANXIOUS FOR NOTHING! And God’s command words reiterated throughout the whole Bible … DO NOT FEAR!

There was a person in my life who constantly was in a state of crisis. Their life became so entwined with mine I began to live in constant angst over them. I couldn’t escape. It seemed like there was no way out. I would pray and pray, “believing” God to intervene, but it seemed like I could never do enough. The years piled up, until one day this last year, somehow God brought me a few days absolutely free of condemnation, guilt … and angst. (They definitely travel together). It had been a long time. It was heaven!

It took awhile to “recover”, but I was desperate to be free … and I really wanted to please God who told me not to worry.

It had been like an addiction. It had symptoms of  codependency … it was like my days were never allowed to live in peace. What a trap the devil had set up for me, cause it wasn’t the other person’s fault. It was me not following the instructions and example Jesus laid out for me.

In retrospect, 3 things stand out to me the most in my overcoming …

– The example of Jesus I found in the book of John, chapters 8; 12-14. I began really pressing in to say only what I heard my Father say, and only do what I saw my Father do, just like Jesus … knowing that if I say His Words, that it would be like Jesus … “that the Father in me” will do the work, not me. I reverence and respect my God, not a person.

– Instead of “pleading the 5th” amendment, I stand up and “plead the blood” … just like in court cause that’s where my help comes from – the courts of heaven, where my Daddy God is the judge and Jesus is my advocate … and the devil is the accuser. I plead NOT GUILTY! I plead the Blood!

– The third is laughing … coming against the thoughts that it’s my responsible to “get ‘er done”, or some religious guilt complex, or just plain old angst … with the words I heard Kenneth Copeland quote from a Western movie. I believe it was Tom Selleck who played the main character – a rough and crusty cowboy who was being apprised of another character’s brazenness. His reply, Texas drawl and sassy … “I just can’t tell you how much I don’t care!”. I use it against the devil all the time (not people).

I’m saying, “Thank You Lord for a life of Peace – a peace the world can’t give, and up to me to not let the world, or the devil, take away. Thank You for being so Faithful and Merciful to teach and train me, Your child, to walk in Peace and Love towards others, and really allow You to do the work that needs to be done. I trust You. I WILL to trust You … You WILL get me the needed info to walk through anything in Peace. Your Blood paid the price for me to do it, and I WILL to do it Your way. I take this. I have it. I thank You, and I forgive and love as You forgive and love me … so Mercifully. All in Jesus name.”

PHILIPPIANS 4:6-7   Don’t worry over anything whatever; tell God every detail of your needs in earnest and thankful prayer, and the peace of God which transcends human understanding, will keep constant guard over your hearts and minds as they rest in Christ Jesus.   PHILLIPS

2 great comments from Wikipedia:

Codependency is defined as a psychological condition or a relationship in which a person is controlled or manipulated by another who is affected with a pathological condition (typically narcissism or drug addiction); and in broader terms, it refers to the dependence on the needs of or control of another.It also often involves placing a lower priority on one’s own needs, while being excessively preoccupied with the needs of others. Codependency can occur in any type of relationship, including family, work, friendship, and also romantic, peer or community relationships. Codependency may also be characterized by denial, low self-esteem, excessive compliance, or control patterns.

Historically, the concept of codependence “comes directly out of Alcoholics Anonymous, part of a dawning realization that the problem was not solely the addict, but also the family and friends who constitute a network for the alcoholic.” It was subsequently broadened to cover the way “that the codependent person is fixated on another person for approval, sustenance, and so on.”


About floodsofmercy

Mother, Grandmother, Business Owner, Someone seeking the most loving, honest, candid, relationship with my God, my family, my friends, and all within my sphere of influence.
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