So much to share today … where to start?
There’s a Psalm … “in Your light do we see light”. Man, it’s true! It never ceases to amaze me how clear and clean things get when God’s light shines on the scene. Clarity to the extreme!
Communicating with someone last night I remembered some insights that, when I did finally act on them, produced the greatest changes in my life. One of them was from a saying I’d often heard that suddenly exploded in my consciousness a while back … “insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results”. Even though not quantitatively true, it became a truism for me.
Once God picked me up out of the hell I’d been living in, my life became a testimonial to His loving, merciful miraculous power. I was hungry for Him and He kept filling me, nourishing and changing me. Over time I leveled out … like became placated. I became content to let certain parts of my being live in quiet disarray. Eventually they matured into genuine messes creating havoc in my life.
Even though I began crying out for God’s help, I neglected stopping long enough for His Light to give light to me 🙂 I kept re-doing life the same way over and over again but vaguely expecting, needing and hoping for change.
I eventually got so desperate I just STOPPED LIFE for a few weeks. I deliberately let the light of God’s Word and His presence work in me long enough and uninterruptedly to expose what was really going on. The intensity of my desire was strong enough to give God access to me … the deep of me, so I could really see the truth in me; see what I needed to do; see what I needed to change; see where my thinking was all screwed up.
The results were phenomenal, first on the inside and then working to the outside of me. Better and better began happening. Life-long habits, stubbornness, fear, offense to correction, and a bunch of other things were eradicated from my existence. Peace became a way of life for me.
So, voicing these things again last night gave the Lord opportunity to bring light to shine on my recent press to be made WHOLE … to receive all the WHOLENESS that Jesus’ living, dying and rising really provided for me.
I woke up this morning KNOWING I’d become satisfied with just enough healing to not be restricted in my functioning, having just enough finances to get by, and so on. I was pressing for WHOLENESS, but not hanging out with the Lord long enough, nor with my desire intense enough, to get light on my part of how to get there. I again found myself living out areas of my life doing the same thing over and over, but still expecting the end results to be different.
Almost simultaneously with that wave of KNOWING came a flood of new thoughts. I suddenly SAW certain things differently and SAW new ways of living them out.
I’m saying, “You’ve been so good to me again! I’m so thankful for what Your light does for and in me. I just wasn’t SEEING well … even blinded to Your thinking. Thank You for surrounding me recently with some good reads, for stirring WHOLENESS up in me, for illuminating my mind and giving direction to my heart. You never ever stop being good, but Your goodness to me sometimes just tips the scale so magnificently that I’m plain overwhelmed. Thank You. I believe I take all these new insights and ways of doing things and more. They’re mine and I’m acting on them. And, I WILL to forgive and love as You’ve forgiven and love me … so Mercifully. All in Jesus name.”
PSALM 36:9 For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light do we see light. NKJ